Helping Fathers

ADVICE FOR FATHER’S

Nothing is more important (to children) then to have BOTH parents in their lives.  Children NEED their fathers.  Please get involved in your child’s life.

See “Links For Dad’s” for help.

Some important first steps for dealing with the biased system:

GET A GOOD LAWYER!  You can bet she’ll have one, and if hers is better, YOU LOSE!  You may still lose, just because you’re a man.

Ask for everything (full custody, same last name, etc.) if you don’t, the judge may think you don’t want anything, and you’ll get nothing.

Get some kind of support system (friends, family, email, etc.) you’ll need advice on what to do, what not to do.  Make sure at least one is a woman.  She can help you predict the deviousness of the competition.

Behave yourself in court.  The judge will be looking for an excuse to label you a hothead, bad guy.  Don’t GIVE him an excuse.  Remain calm, dress nice, be polite/respectful.

Don’t make the mistake of being shy to say how much you love your kid(s).  Women use that emotional button well.  Learn to express your feelings.

Be proactive, try to guess her tactics.  Most will say you’re either a drunk, druggie, wife beater, or child abuser.  Don’t be any of these, if you are, get into a program, let the judge know you’re trying to be a better dad.

Audio tape all conversations with her.  Even better, videotape.  It would be good to have a witness with you during the pickups and drop-offs.  Don’t sink to her level and belittle her in front of your kids.  That’s bad for the kids, and you.