Helping Fathers

ADVICE FOR FATHERíS

Nothing is more important (to children) then to have BOTH parents in their lives.  Children NEED their fathers.  Please get involved in your childís life.

See ďLinks For DadísĒ for help.

Some important first steps for dealing with the biased system:

GET A GOOD LAWYER!  You can bet sheíll have one, and if hers is better, YOU LOSE!  You may still lose, just because youíre a man.

Ask for everything (full custody, same last name, etc.) if you donít, the judge may think you donít want anything, and youíll get nothing.

Get some kind of support system (friends, family, email, etc.) youíll need advice on what to do, what not to do.  Make sure at least one is a woman.  She can help you predict the deviousness of the competition.

Behave yourself in court.  The judge will be looking for an excuse to label you a hothead, bad guy.  Donít GIVE him an excuse.  Remain calm, dress nice, be polite/respectful.

Donít make the mistake of being shy to say how much you love your kid(s).  Women use that emotional button well.  Learn to express your feelings.

Be proactive, try to guess her tactics.  Most will say youíre either a drunk, druggie, wife beater, or child abuser.  Donít be any of these, if you are, get into a program, let the judge know youíre trying to be a better dad.

Audio tape all conversations with her.  Even better, videotape.  It would be good to have a witness with you during the pickups and drop-offs.  Donít sink to her level and belittle her in front of your kids.  Thatís bad for the kids, and you.